A Non-Fan's Approach To WWE Smackdown, Phoenix
My children are the smartest people in the world....
So, why does my subtitle talk about my children? Well, my children said that Greg DeMarco, my absolutely amazing husband, should get Smackdown tickets as his Father’s Day gift. They felt that he’d like it the most out of some of the other options we came up with because, well he’s Greg. However, my beloved children both stated that they DID NOT want to go with the father they so dearly love for his FATHER’S DAY gift. As a result, we got two tickets, and I willingly and happily attended WWE’s Smackdown on July 1.
Because Smackdown is a live broadcast based on East Coast time, it started at 4:45. Held at the Footprint Center in Downtown, the drive took about 40 minutes and then of course we had to find parking. Plenty of $30 parking, but we were lucky to find metered parking a block away that was only $1.50/hour. Now, we couldn’t read the meter when we put the card it to pay… so it was a guess the price game. Maybe only $1.50 because we couldn’t select a time, or possibly $12 for the max amount it would charge, or $150 parking ticket because it never actually went through.
On a side note, we were a little late leaving the house due to some technical difficulties in a meeting Greg was ending his day with, and of course, I made him stop at Starbucks so I could grab a drink. I do have some requirements if I’m going to watch wrestling for an extended period of time without an escape plan.
We made it to out seats just before five. The crew was setting up a bunch of ladders in and out of the ring…like really tall ones. Like ones I would probably fall off of half way up. Greg was great in explaining things to me. Now, I’m not a wrestling idiot. I’ve been with Greg since we were 18. I’ve watched way more wrestling then I care to admit (especially when we were dating, and I wanted to impress him) and I’ve been to numerous live WWE events in Virginia, Connecticut and Phoenix. So, I know all the pay-per-views and how it all works. I understand ladder matches and cage matches and all that. It was perfectly clear to me from the set up that the were setting up for Saturday night’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match on the pay-per-view. I know and understand wrestling, It’s just not my thing.
The first thing that I didn’t really care for was when Pat McAfee and whoever the other commentator was came out. They were projected on the jumbotron, we could see their little mouths moving, but couldn’t hear them. I guess that is all special, secret talk only for the at home audience. Not for those of us that spent more money then I care to admit on tickets to sit in a seat with a sticky floor. Oh well, once the TV broadcast officially started the guys sitting at the tops of their ladders started having their little discussion and debate about Saturday match. There was still one spot open in Saturday’s seven-man match, so some of the guys that were going to be competing later in the show for that spot came out with their lights and music to put in their two cents.
It’s funny, not really, but whatever, I’m from the wrestling era of “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, Shawn Michaels, The Rock, Sting, etc. So to watch shows now, I really have no idea who very many of them are. I know The Miz, but honestly out of all of them, I think he was the only one I recognized. No, I take that back. I recognized several of them because they are all shirtless men, with long curly dark hair so I don’t really know who’s who? I asked Greg if the one guy was Roman Reigns (the only one I really know) but alas it was some guy named McIntyre. I really think that if you fit that physical mold, WWE moves you higher up on the hiring priority list.
The Miz in all his gaudy, red magnificence comes out with Corbin, Madcap and maybe someone else. My attention began to waiver. Thankfully, we eventually get to the first match - a “Good Old Fashioned” ten-man Battle Royal. There really is no reason for the match, the winner doesn’t get anything so the bell rings and for the next 14 minutes it is literally watching what looks like a bunch of boys playing in the sandbox. Sadly, the situation happening next to me, people in the wrong seats and new people telling them such, was more interesting than the match, but it was over much quicker than a commercial break.
I did enjoy Corbin’s little conniving plan. To be eliminated, you have to go over the top rope. At some point, Corbin slid under the ropes and sat on the ground waiting for his moment to strike. When there were two guys left struggling at the ropes, Corbin jumped in and pushed them both over, winning the match.
Apparently Corbin farts rainbows. I’ll just leave that right there for you all to ponder. Can’t remember the exact context, but I had it typed into my notes so I wouldn’t forget. Apparently, there wasn’t a lasting impression left on me. Moving on…
We have more down time, more commercial breaks, more back stage interviews, more video promos on the jumbotron. There’s some promo about Natalya and Ronda Rousey and their feud. I appreciate that Ronda took the time she needed and wanted to not sacrifice having the family she wants in her personal life, but still being able to have a career in this industry. Kudos to her.
OMG.. 40 minutes into the show, and we are finally getting to the 2nd match of the night. The New Day is introduced. I’ve heard of Kofi Kingston before, so I’m like “ok cool.” I can get into their energy, except for the five minute commercial buzzkill that took place as soon as they get into the ring. Ugh… really? Greg had to keep reminding me that we are not at a “wrestling event” we are at a “TV show.” He felt the need to reassure me that the WWE “Live Events” are much different than the TV shows. All I could think about was what else I could have done with the money I spent on these tickets and that he was crazy if I thought a live event would be better. Then I was mad at my children for not stepping up to attend this with their father for Father’s Day after they convinced to to buy the tickets, and now Greg is on a mission to take me to another event so I can compare them. Ok, fine, whatever. He is going to take me to see Where The Crawdads Sing when it comes out in a few weeks.
So, we are back from commercial and the New Day acts like no time passed (great little actors). Anyway, the New Vicious Viking Raiders come out. (They missed an opportunity here with alliteration.) They look like they literally just got off the boat. We are now 50 minutes into the show… and the match is over a 5:51. Literally, 90 seconds after the New VV Raiders got in the ring, they were walking out after decimating The New Day. Apparently the NVVR didn’t learn how to play nice in the sandbox. At this point we have had 15 total minutes of wrestling. Just remember, tomorrow is a New Day. (Yes it is!)
It takes 20 minutes to go from The New Day dragging themselves out of the ring to the conclusion of the women’s match. The women’s match was a 3-person tag team match. I’m all for women’s wrestling. I’m a woman, and especially right now, it is more important than ever to support women’s rights, and that includes the right for them to wrestle in their sequenced, glittery bikinis. Not my thing, but to each their own.
These six women were set to compete against each other at the pay-per-view the next night in the Women’s Money in the Bank match, so this is primarily just a teaser for the next night. The 7th contestant, Becky Lynch, comes out and sits next to Pat McAfee to help commentate the match. Of course, this is just more secret talk for the at home audience.
I referred to the bikini clad women as the Anime girls. They are cute, colorful and look like they should have dolls modeled after them. They aren’t the ones that seem to be too intimidating. I do believe that my 13 year old, Anime obsessed daughter would love Alexa Bliss and her space buns hair style. The other team comes out, not clad in bikini inspired attire. These are the women that seem more intimidating and serious. Match starts. Thankfully, the match continues through the commercial break.
There were a few moments in the match when I leaned over to Greg and said, “I don’t think that was supposed to happen that way.” He’d reply with telling me “they were too far apart” and which wrestlers were more talented then the others. I felt bad at times, because I felt there were just more times than there should have been where it looked like moves didn’t execute the way they were probably intended to.
In the end, the Anime girls win, and true to having a random wrestling sitting at the commentator’s table, Becky Lynch jumps in and attacks Asuka. Dun, Dun Dun….. Asuka will get her revenge at Money in the Bank. I mean maybe not. It’s already happened, and I don’t care enough to look up the results of the match. Time check - 6:11 pm.
Surprising, it is time for another commercial break during which the ring is set up to host what looks like will be a debate. Great. The USOs come out, “We The Ones.” Hmm, We The Ones? That need some grammatical assistance. There is another commercial during which the Street Profits come out. And then there is some woman in a white jacket, Kayla? Maybe, who askes questions, maybe one question? I didn’t really get the point of any of this. All I know is that they will also be wrestling at Money in the Bank in a tag team match. And CUT! Commercial time, everything is cleaned up and now it’s 6:32.
(My husband told me that her name is Kayla Braxton.)
You would think maybe there’d be another match. Nope.. it’s time for a male fashion show. Really?!?! What is happening?!?! I look at Greg with the most flabbergasted look. I was reassured by his returning shake of his head. To his credit, he tried to explain to me who the people were and what the probable purpose of this whole thing was. It didn’t really help. At least he didn’t think this was good either. We weren’t alone. It didn’t take long for the whole crowd to start chanting “This is awful!”
** Pausing my unbelievably enjoyable commentary on Smackdown to bring you a very important message. MY HUSBAND PUTS ON BETTER WRESTLING SHOWS THAN THIS!!!!!!!! You think I’m kidding, his next one is on August 27 in Tempe, Arizona. If you went to WWE at the Footprint Center, I think you can easily afford tickets to IZW’s Psycho Circus and have a much more entertaining evening. I mean, it typically sells out, so get tickets now! Plus there is free parking, super great people and the best wieners. **
Back to the fashion show, the best was when it was over, they put up the promo on the Jumbotron for next week’s Tennis Apparel fashion show. Lol, all you Smackdown lovers, looks like next week you’ll see some balls and rackets. Just so you know, according to whoever the guy was that was announcing the ‘models,’ it’s “all about symmetry.”
It’s only 6:38 and FINALLY we are at the point where we have the match to determine who the 7th contestant will be in the men’s Money in the Bank match. The Miz is introduced, then Madcap Moss. I lose it a little after that. Not sure if we go to another commercial break but whatever, eventually there are more introductions to the ring and with 15 minutes left in the live broadcast, the match finally starts.
This match is clearly the older boys playing in the sandbox. They are not holding anything back. People are getting thrown and landing on the announce table, Pat McAfee takes some selfies, Corbin is thrown into the stairs. It seems that Corbin isn’t a very popular guy based on the boos of the crowd; however, he is the best dressed one here. Maybe he should have been in the runway show.
At 6:56, Madcap Moss pins The Miz and wins his place in the match. He gets a minute to celebrate and then the live broadcast ends. I felt it was a little anticlimactic, but whatever. We get a bonus, off-the-air main event match between Seth Rollins and Riddle. Riddle gets the first pyrotechnics of the night, and it scared the crap out of me. I thought the building was exploding. They didn’t think to set this off during the live portion? I do like Riddle though. He’s entertaining to watch.
Oh well, this match starts with introductions at 6:58, and it’s over at 7:08. The best part of the whole match was Seth Rollins taking a sign from a fan in the crowd, waving it around, and then beating up Riddle while holding it! Riddle got his revenge with the win.
And that’s it. Show over. I will say that it was nice leaving an event like this and the sun still be out and still early enough that we didn’t have to rush to find a restaurant that was still open. Oh yeah, in case you were wondering from the beginning of this post…we didn’t get a parking ticket! Horary!
Lessons Learned:
While I spent years watching WWE and WCW wrestling with Greg while we dated and even into the first few years of our marriage, I will never be a fan. I appreciate the athleticism of the wrestlers, but it has changed so much from the late 90s/early 2000s, and I just don’t understand the appeal of mainstream wrestling. And, yes, because I don’t really care for it, it does make me a little more critical and cynical.
I appreciate my husband’s work in local, independent wrestling. I appreciate the people behind the wrestling personas that I have gotten to know through IZW. While I will never ‘love’ it, I respect everything these amazing people do. IZW hosts the only wrestling shows I want to go to, as they will probably be the only ones that I will ever enjoy. Yes, I am biased, but that doesn’t make me wrong.
Greg enjoyed the show. He knew what to expect, and looks at the show a little more objectively and logistically than I do or even most fans. He likes to see how it all comes together, the planning and logistical aspects. This is why his shows are so well done. But, at the end of the day, this was his Father’s Day gift, and I just wanted something that he would be interested in and be meaningful. I always want to show my support in his interests even if they are not my own. That’s part of having a successful relationship. However, next time I may rethink buying these tickets over The Lion King play tickets. I may also rethink buying something my children encourage me to buy, but refuse to go to themselves.
I’ll be back in August for another fun recap of IZW’s Psycho Circus.
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